Step parenting can be very fulfilling and very challenging! We’ve experienced all the highs and lows you can imagine, and if you have a blended family, maybe we can help! Here are 5 things every new step parent should know to help navigate their blended family journey!
1. Patience is Everything
Building a bond with your stepchildren takes time and patience. We have to understand that the kids need time to adjust to their new family dynamic. And, there are so many new realities they need to wrap their heads around, that it can take much longer than we want it to.
But be patient…. with yourself and with your kids.
You’ll find that patience is a master key that unlocks many of the doors to creating a bond in those relationships. But remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither is a strong blended family.
And by the way, the pace at which this bond is developed, will not necessarily look like other blended families. And that’s okay.
So, as you go through this process…. do your best to be patient.
2. Communication is Crucial
It’s a proven fact that communication is the key to every healthy human relationship. So, it’s safe to assume that good communication is key to a healthy relationship with your step kids.
And a family that isn’t talking is a family in crisis.
Encourage your step kids to express their thoughts and feelings to you. And then listen to them with an open mind.
One way we did this was by having regular family meetings. Sometimes they happened in the living room, and sometimes we had them all pile on our bed to talk.
If you foster an environment that makes them comfortable…. you’ll find that they’ll start to open up to you more.
3. Respecting Boundaries
This is one I struggled with as a young Dad. I got caught up in the parental duties of teaching, reprimanding, and overseeing…. and I forgot that I was dealing with little people who were worthy of, and deserving of, my respect.
Respecting boundaries is essential to building trust and mutual respect in your kids. And this truth plays an even bigger role in trying to blend a family.
Work with your spouse to establish clear boundaries, guidelines, and expectations. Not only for behavior, but for life within the family. And then, with grace and consistency, hold everyone accountable to them.
In our experience, we’ve found that mutual respect is the foundation of every loving and successful blended family.
4. Embrace a Flexible Mindset
Flexibility is so important when you’re dealing with the ups and downs of step parenting. You have to expect the unexpected when you’re coming in to parent someone else’s kids .
And, the good news is, if you’re already mastering the art of patience, being flexible will come naturally.
But to any of you who struggle with being flexible, here is our suggestion….
Embrace and find value in the unique strengths and challenges of your blended family. Each family is gloriously unique!
If you make that your focus, it should help to enable you to approach each situation with an open mind and heart.
5. Prioritize Your Mental and Spiritual Health
In the midst of all your blended family craziness, don’t forget to focus on your own mental and spiritual health. Take time to recharge and nurture your own well-being.
For us, that focus came in our individual quiet times, and prayer times with the Lord. And through our corporate church life and friendships.
But it also came from taking short getaway trips to the beach where we would take a day or two to breathe and reset.
Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. So, don’t ignore the absolute need you have to get alone. Get alone with God, get alone with your spouse…. find whatever works for you, so you can reset and recharge your batteries.
Final Thoughts
Step parenting is a challenging and rewarding journey. We wouldn’t trade our blended family experiences for anything in the world. And if you cultivate patience, foster open communication, respect boundaries, embrace flexibility, and prioritize your mental and spiritual health, you can navigate your step-parenting journey with a ton of confidence and grace.
Thanks for visiting our website! There’s a book that we wish we had read earlier in our blended family years, and we thought we would suggest it for you. It’s called The SMART Stepfamily – 7 Steps to a Healthy Family, by Ron L. Deal. It’s a great resource. It’s free right now on Amazon! Check it out!
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