Back when our “kids” were kids, sometimes they could be little angels, and at other times we didn’t know how we would make it through the day. Parenting is hard, and there’s no sugar-coating that. There are times when frustration turns to anger. Sadly, some parents struggle with losing their temper so much that they cross a line, damage the relationship, or even hurt their child. We learned that it’s important to find ways to parent with grace.
Wayne and I raised seven kids – two boys and five girls. Some days were fairly smooth, but most days had at least a wee bit of wild in them. If it wasn’t one, it was another, and sometimes we were dealing with 2 or 3 big, life-altering issues at the same time. There always seemed to be a behavior or a conflict that needed a heart-to-heart at any given moment. I often say that as parents of seven, we have “been there, done that” with just about everything. We have seen many things cross our desks as parents. Bad grades, bad friends, alcohol, drugs, girls, boys, and of course the everyday “just being kids” kind of stuff.
I remember a season when my kids were little, and I thought – These kids fight so much, they’re getting in trouble every single day for the same thing! Will they EVER learn?! Hmmm, not likely. For some reason it seemed they were completely content with learning things the hard way. Oh, don’t get me wrong… we did have wonderful times, and still do. Most of our days and nights were generously sprinkled with fun, loving experiences together, and tons of laughter. We have been blessed beyond measure! But with 7 children, we did endure our fair share of trouble.
Somewhere in the early years, when my kids were very little, I promised myself that whenever we were in the middle of a heated moment, and I may come across too harshly with them, that I would always say these six words:
Remember How Much You Love Them.
It’s simple, really. God gave them to me, after a very painful couple of miscarriages. Losses that were heart wrenching. Children that I already loved, and named. I believe this may have aided my ability to cherish each moment with the children that I was blessed to raise. So I promised myself I would stop and say those words before reacting with anger, or leveling some type of punishment, or raising my voice at them. I’m not much of a yeller, and I don’t get mad very easily. But there were times throughout the last 26 years of being a mom, where I thought I would absolutely lose my mind.
But then… there were those words.
LeAnn, just remember how much you love them.
I would remind myself about the depth of the Father’s love for me; that in my own sin, He had always dealt graciously with me. Psalm 103:8 says “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in mercy.”
And somehow this helped me to react a bit slower, and be more deliberate and careful with my words. I simply needed to slow …down …for a moment to remember how blessed I am, and how precious they are. His Word says children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3).
I’ll always remember how much I love them. I hope they will, too.
2 Responses
I love YOUUU. And YES, I will always remember how much grace you two showed me and continue to show me as I grow into myself.