If you Google the question, “What’s the Secret to a Successful Marriage?” you’ll find dozens of articles. They all list various relational characteristics that can add to marital happiness. But, what if you had to break it all down to one thing?

What is THE secret sauce to a successful marriage?

LeAnn and I get this question quite a bit from people; especially from younger couples. And when I look back over the 19 years of our marriage, one thing sticks out much more than anything else:

Selflessness.

But believe me when I tell you, we didn’t always get that right. We don’t always get that right. But, upon close examination of my own marriage, I see that selflessness has been the key. When we’re doing it right, LeAnn and I are serving each other selflessly in love.

The Bible says,
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3

Imagine for a second how world-changing it would be if everyone took this instruction from the Apostle Paul to heart. It would change everything.

Now, imagine a world where all married couples applied this to their marriages. If everyone considered others as more significant than themselves???

All arguing and bickering would stop. All adultery, and lying, inappropriateness, and self-consumption would stop. In their place would be politeness, kindness, and careful consideration of the feelings and desires of your spouse. Patience, understanding, genuine concern, affection, and Christ-like servitude would all become the norm.

When addressing the Corinthian church, Paul said,

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

There’s not a single self-focused quality found in the biblical description of love.

Selflessness, friends. That’s the secret sauce, as far as I’m concerned. 

So, what do you think? What would you say is the secret sauce to a happy marriage? Let us know in the comments below!